The Inner Lexicon

Better words for hard things.

Selected term

Regulation

Try saying: "My body is asking for steadiness before I solve this."

Regulation

Helping the body return toward steadiness after stress, activation, shutdown, or overwhelm.

Grounding

Simple practices that bring attention back to the present moment, the body, and the room you are in.

Repair

The process of returning to a relationship after rupture with honesty, accountability, and care.

Trauma-Informed

An approach that prioritizes safety, trust, choice, collaboration, empowerment, and culture.

Window of Tolerance

The zone where the nervous system has enough capacity to feel, think, choose, and connect.

Activation

A body state of mobilized energy, often showing up as urgency, tension, anxiety, or irritability.

Boundaries

Clear limits that protect energy, safety, time, and connection without requiring harshness.

Co-Regulation

Using steady presence, tone, rhythm, and connection to help another nervous system settle.

Therapeutic feeling compass organizing words into core emotions, body states, attachment, needs, youth language, and spiritual meaning

Therapeutic Feeling Lexicon

Scan by category to find the nearest feeling word.

This list gives visitors a practical way to name what is present, notice the body state underneath it, and move toward the need that may be asking for care.

Core / Basic Emotions Happiness / Joy
HappyJoyfulGladDelightedCheerfulContentPleasedSatisfiedFulfilledGratefulBlissfulElatedEcstaticEuphoricPlayfulLightheartedOptimisticEncouragedHopefulInspiredPeacefulSereneCalmRelaxedFreeProudConfidentConnectedLovedAcceptedAppreciatedWarmSafeComfortedEnergizedMotivatedRefreshedRestoredCuriousAdventurousExcitedEnthusiasticPassionateAmused
Core / Basic Emotions Sadness / Grief

Mild Sadness

SadDownBlueLowDisappointedDiscouragedGloomyHeavy-heartedMelancholyDisheartenedUninspiredLonelyLeft outUnseenUnheardUnimportantEmptyDrainedTiredWithdrawn

Deep Sadness / Grief

HeartbrokenDevastatedGrievingBereavedDespairingHopelessPowerlessNumbHollowMiserableCrushedShatteredAbandonedRejectedIsolatedAlienatedDefeatedLostVulnerableFragileWoundedAcheyYearningLonging
Core / Basic Emotions Anger / Frustration

Mild Irritation

AnnoyedIrritatedBotheredFrustratedImpatientAgitatedTenseResentfulOffendedUncomfortableDefensiveDismissedInvalidatedInterruptedPressured

Moderate to Intense Anger

AngryMadFuriousEnragedOutragedBitterHostileIndignantContemptuousFed upHeatedExplosiveAggressiveViolatedBetrayedControlledTrappedOppressedDisrespectedManipulatedWronged
Core / Basic Emotions Fear / Anxiety

Mild Fear

NervousUneasyApprehensiveConcernedUncertainHesitantCautiousInsecureShySelf-consciousRestlessStartledSensitiveHyperaware

Moderate Anxiety

WorriedAnxiousOverwhelmedStressedPanickedAlarmedPressuredUnsafeThreatenedHypervigilantFragileVulnerableDreadingAfraidFearfulDistrustfulSuspiciousFrozenDysregulated

Intense Fear

TerrifiedHorrifiedPetrifiedHelplessParalyzedCatastrophicDoomedTrappedExposedUnsafeUnprotected
Core / Basic Emotions Shame / Guilt

Shame

AshamedEmbarrassedHumiliatedMortifiedWorthlessBrokenFlawedDefectiveInadequateInferiorSmallExposedSelf-loathingUnlovableDirtyBadWeakFakeFraudulent

Guilt / Regret

GuiltyRemorsefulRegretfulSorryResponsibleBurdenedConflictedConscience-strickenRepentant
Connection Love / Connection / Belonging
LovedCherishedAdoredValuedSeenHeardUnderstoodAcceptedIncludedWelcomedTrustedIntimateCloseBondedCompassionateAffectionateTenderEmpatheticSupportedSecureSafeGroundedAttachedConnectedLoyalAppreciated
Agency Confidence / Empowerment
ConfidentCapableCompetentStrongBraveCourageousEmpoweredWorthyResilientIndependentAssertiveMotivatedDeterminedFocusedGroundedStableSecureCenteredProudAccomplishedSuccessfulValidatedCreativeResourceful
Mind Confusion / Cognitive States
ConfusedUnsureTornIndecisiveDistractedFoggyScatteredDisorganizedLostConflictedDetachedDisconnectedDissociatedUnclearBewilderedPerplexedCuriousReflectiveContemplativeQuestioning
Trauma / Nervous System States Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, Safe

Fight Response

ReactiveDefensiveCombativeIrritableAggressiveControlling

Flight Response

RestlessAvoidantEscapistDrivenPerfectionisticHyperproductivePanicked

Freeze Response

NumbFrozenStuckCollapsedImmobilizedShutdownBlankDisconnected

Fawn Response

People-pleasingOveraccommodatingAppeasingSelf-abandoningOvergivingCompliance-driven

Regulated / Safe States

GroundedSettledPresentOpenBalancedSecureConnectedCalmRestedAttuned
Mind / Body / Spirit Sensory / Somatic Feelings
HeavyLightTightConstrictedExpandedWarmColdTinglingBuzzingNumbAchingRelaxedActivatedJitteryShakyFloatingRootedRestlessDrainedEnergizedPressurizedOpenClosed off
Mind / Body / Spirit Existential / Spiritual Feelings
ConnectedAlignedPurposefulWholeAwakenedSpiritually nourishedGroundedCenteredExpansiveOpen-heartedGratefulReverentPeacefulFaithfulTrustingHopefulDisillusionedSpiritually disconnectedLostSearchingYearningCalledRestored
Relational / Attachment Feelings Attachment Themes

Secure Attachment Feelings

SafeConnectedTrustingStableWantedChosenRelaxed

Anxious Attachment Feelings

ClingyWorriedPreoccupiedRejectedNeedyFearfulAbandoned

Avoidant Attachment Feelings

SmotheredClosed offDetachedWithdrawnIndependentDistrustfulNumb

Disorganized Attachment Feelings

TornConflictedChaoticUnsafeLongingFearfulConfused
Needs Underneath Feelings What the Feeling May Be Asking For
Need for safetyNeed for restNeed for reassuranceNeed for connectionNeed for autonomyNeed for belongingNeed for validationNeed for structureNeed for predictabilityNeed for playNeed for supportNeed for understandingNeed for affectionNeed for spaceNeed for meaningNeed for protectionNeed for emotional attunementNeed for co-regulationNeed for honestyNeed for gentleness
Children & Teens Words Especially Helpful for Children & Teens

Younger Children

MadSadScaredHappySillyLonelyNervousExcitedEmbarrassedConfusedJealousProudLeft outShySafeUnsafeCalmFrustrated

Teens / Adolescents

OverwhelmedDrainedPressuredMisunderstoodRejectedInvisibleDifferentIsolatedBurned outStressedNumbAwkwardInsecureSelf-consciousTrappedDysregulatedInvalidatedUnsupportedEmpoweredSeen